Anxiety appears in many forms. Whenever it comes on, whatever it is called, it is fear. It may seem extraordinary that a person may not be able walk to the end of his road, but that is the power of fear. It may be out of proportion, but it is paralysing. But it doesn’t have to be forever. Anxiety in all forms can be treated. This text comes from the Royal College of Psychiatrists.
Anxiety has a purpose. It makes us more alert, more aware, more ready for action. The fight or flight hormones rush through our body, getting us ready for action. That’s very useful in the jungle. And a little bit can help if we have to give a talk to colleagues. Too much and you want to run away. That’s panic.
The good news is that you can learn how to regain control. Methods have been developed over the last 50 years or so, and proved to work. So take courage. Decide to take action. Because you can get better. In hypnosis, you can look at the things that make you anxious and learn to respond in a different way. Because of course, anxiety triggers more anxiety. And fear of anxiety is paralysing too. With the sort of hypnotherapy that I practice, you can expect to feel significantly better after just a few sessions, armed with some practical techniques that will last you all your life. You will rebuild your self-confidence as your anxiety recedes. Why wait?
Some people say that they have always been very negative and pessimistic. It seems unchangeable, they were born that way. And of course it is true that we each have different temperaments. But being pessimistic is in part a habit. It is a particular way of thinking. And the good news is that you can learn a new way of thinking so that you don't always fear the worst outcome and feel your self-confidence taking another beating.
It is not so much about positive thinking, but realistic thinking. Pessimists sometimes discount the evidence in front of them. Just a few sessions of cognitive behavioural therapy, and you will find that you can think in a more helpful, realistic way, and feel better.
Well, first of all, it is normal. So most of us know what it feels like. Anxiety is the physiological arousal that follows fear. It is the arousal that comes from all those fight or flight hormones which are launched into our bloodstream when we become aware of something dangerous. And it is instanteous. Fear is protective. It gets us running away from the sabre toothed tiger before we have even articulated the thought that a tiger is coming at us. It is instinctive.
So since man (and woman) walked the earth, we have been learning the sense of running from danger and our bodies are geared to help us get away. We respond automatically, as our forebears did.
But although we don't live in constantly dangerous environments any more, we create new situations to be scared of. We think something awful is going to happen to us, and we respond to the thought of danger. So when we are about to give a talk to colleagues at work, Danger Danger. Or we are going to sit an exam, or meet someone who seemed to take a dislike to us. We respond in the same way. What can we do?
Well, we are not going to change millennia of evolution overnight. We will always respond to danger in the same way. But we can stop scaring ourselves, we can stop filling our heads with thoughts of disasters that might befall us. If we don't keep coming up with new ways to scare ourselves, then we will manage our anxiety.
Thoughts are not reality. While you might come up with all sorts of horrible possibilities - What if this, or What if that - these are just thoughts. With cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy, you will be able to deal with your thoughts in a helpful and productive way, rather than feeling overwhelmed. Give it a try.
When we are feeling bad, our brain is very good at digging out past bad experiences to help justify our feeling low. And it is very quick and efficient, so those negative neural pathways get really well trodden, our brain knows the way very well indeed. Most unhelpful.
We then come to expect, assume, believe that other people will ignore us or reject us. Whatever their intention, we see what they do as proof that they think badly of us. We don't know this, because we don't ask them. We just assume, expect, believe that they will say something horrible. And these fears are real. They cause real distress. But knowing that what you think is not what they think can be very empowering.
We might withdraw from social activities that would have been fun. We avoid meeting people who in fact might have become friends. This is a drain on your emotions. You feel anxious, of course. But also, frustrated, depressed, angry even. Resentful. And this stew of uncomfortable and distressing feelings can get in the way of our everyday living.
As a start, say to yourself every day "Just because I think it doesn't mean it's true". There is a gulf of a difference between a thought and the facts. With a bit of practice and maybe some help, you will be able to challenge those unhelpful thoughts, assumptions, beliefs and expectation. Say to yourself - "Show me the evidence!!
Once we are on the What if train, who knows what we will end up believing. This kind of thinking is called awfulising or catastrophising. It feeds on itself as you imagine worse and worse possible outcomes, creating a vicious cycle of worry. Prolonged worry causes anxiety and anxiety causes worry, and so on, in a perpetual circle. Worriers often do this and it is unhelpful. How does it happen and what can we do to stop it?
Our internal self-talk is continual, automatic, and occurs partially outside of awareness. Consequently, we don't pay much attention to it but when we are faced with stressful situations, the self-talk turns its spotlight onto the stressful event and becomes obsessively preoccupied with it. It’s well-established that when people feel anxious the mind is drawn to potential sources of danger automatically, like iron to a magnet. People tend to exhibit three main unhelpful thinking styles as a result of anxiety.
You focus on signs of potential danger and ignore evidence of safety - "selective attentional bias" or "tunnel vision" .
You tend to interpret ambiguous situations or uncertain outcomes in the most threatening way - "selective interpretation bias" .
You tend to remember previous incidents that provide evidence of threat or vulnerability and forget about events in the past that suggest the opposite - "selective recall bias."
When people are afraid and anxious they naturally tend to over-estimate the likelihood and severity of a feared outcome and under-estimate their ability to cope or opportunities to be rescued from harm. In short, when you’re anxious, your judgement tends to be biased toward the perception of danger,
What would be the ideal state of mind for thinking through your problems? Not when you are in the spiral of worry, is my recommendation. Make a note of the worrying thoughts, and postpone thinking about them until you are feeling normal again. And cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy is the best way to learn how to think in more helpful ways.
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