When we worry What if, we are starting to fantasise about terrible possibilities, and these thoughts can scare us.
What if my dog gets lost? And then, if he is lost, I will have to tell my children and they will be really upset and blame me for not taking proper care of the dog. That will damage my already delicate relationship with the children and we will stop talking to each other. That would be terrible......
The first thing to note is that this kind of thinking upsets us. We move from one dreadful thought, up the ladder to an even more scary thought, and then up into the stratosphere, absolutely terrified. That dry mouth and rapid heart beat results from this kind of thinking. And the next thing to be aware of is that this kind of thinking is irrational. These awful things have not happened. They are usually unlikely to happen.
We can't know the future. We can of course take action to minimise risks. We can take responsibility for those things which are within our control, but not for the rest.
It is the thought that is scaring you. You are predicting a terrible outcome. Think about previous scary predictions. How many came true? For most of us, reality is usually more ordinary than our predictions.
What if my dog gets lost? And then, if he is lost, I will have to tell my children and they will be really upset and blame me for not taking proper care of the dog. That will damage my already delicate relationship with the children and we will stop talking to each other. That would be terrible......
The first thing to note is that this kind of thinking upsets us. We move from one dreadful thought, up the ladder to an even more scary thought, and then up into the stratosphere, absolutely terrified. That dry mouth and rapid heart beat results from this kind of thinking. And the next thing to be aware of is that this kind of thinking is irrational. These awful things have not happened. They are usually unlikely to happen.
We can't know the future. We can of course take action to minimise risks. We can take responsibility for those things which are within our control, but not for the rest.
It is the thought that is scaring you. You are predicting a terrible outcome. Think about previous scary predictions. How many came true? For most of us, reality is usually more ordinary than our predictions.
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