When we are feeling bad, our brain is very good at digging out past bad experiences to help justify our feeling low. And it is very quick and efficient, so those negative neural pathways get really well trodden, our brain knows the way very well indeed. Most unhelpful.
We then come to expect, assume, believe that other people will ignore us or reject us. Whatever their intention, we see what they do as proof that they think badly of us. We don't know this, because we don't ask them. We just assume, expect, believe that they will say something horrible. And these fears are real. They cause real distress. But knowing that what you think is not what they think can be very empowering.
We might withdraw from social activities that would have been fun. We avoid meeting people who in fact might have become friends. This is a drain on your emotions. You feel anxious, of course. But also, frustrated, depressed, angry even. Resentful. And this stew of uncomfortable and distressing feelings can get in the way of our everyday living.
As a start, say to yourself every day "Just because I think it doesn't mean it's true". There is a gulf of a difference between a thought and the facts. With a bit of practice and maybe some help, you will be able to challenge those unhelpful thoughts, assumptions, beliefs and expectation. Say to yourself - "Show me the evidence!!
We then come to expect, assume, believe that other people will ignore us or reject us. Whatever their intention, we see what they do as proof that they think badly of us. We don't know this, because we don't ask them. We just assume, expect, believe that they will say something horrible. And these fears are real. They cause real distress. But knowing that what you think is not what they think can be very empowering.
We might withdraw from social activities that would have been fun. We avoid meeting people who in fact might have become friends. This is a drain on your emotions. You feel anxious, of course. But also, frustrated, depressed, angry even. Resentful. And this stew of uncomfortable and distressing feelings can get in the way of our everyday living.
As a start, say to yourself every day "Just because I think it doesn't mean it's true". There is a gulf of a difference between a thought and the facts. With a bit of practice and maybe some help, you will be able to challenge those unhelpful thoughts, assumptions, beliefs and expectation. Say to yourself - "Show me the evidence!!
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