Tue, 22 May 2012 08:55:13 +0000WeeblyMon, 14 May 2012 15:40:06 +0000http://www.carolinebrowntherapy.com/1/post/2012/05/what-if1.htmlWhat if thinking is us trying to predict the future. We can take action to make our lives less random and less chaotic, but what if thinking does not make any particular future scenario more likely. This is what Eminem says about it.

]]>Sat, 12 May 2012 14:03:31 +0000http://www.carolinebrowntherapy.com/1/post/2012/05/what-if.htmlWhen we worry What if, we are starting to fantasise about terrible possibilities, and these thoughts can scare us.

What if my dog gets lost? And then, if he is lost, I will have to tell my children and they will be really upset and blame me for not taking proper care of the dog. That will damage my already delicate relationship with the children and we will stop talking to each other. That would be terrible......

The first thing to note is that this kind of thinking upsets us. We move from one dreadful thought, up the ladder to an even more scary thought, and then up into the stratosphere, absolutely terrified. That dry mouth and rapid heart beat results from this kind of thinking. And the next thing to be aware of is that this kind of thinking is irrational. These awful things have not happened. They are usually unlikely to happen.

We can't know the future. We can of course take action to minimise risks. We can take responsibility for those things which are within our control, but not for the rest.

It is the thought that is scaring you. You are predicting a terrible outcome. Think about previous scary predictions. How many came true? For most of us, reality is usually more ordinary than our predictions.]]>Tue, 08 May 2012 13:37:13 +0000http://www.carolinebrowntherapy.com/1/post/2012/05/panic-in-front-of-others.htmlThis affects people who have to be the centre of attention as part of their way of life such as salesmen, actors, musicians, teachers, or if you have give presentations for any reason. You might be perfectly at ease with other people at every other time,  but when you have to get up and talk or perform in front of others, you become very anxious, stammer or 'dry up' completely. It can affect even people who are experienced at speaking in public and do it regularly. At its worst, it can make it impossible to speak at all, even to ask a question.

Lots can be going on in your head!

• worrying about making a fool of yourself in front of other people
• going through, in great detail, all the embarrassing things that could happen to you
• after an event, worrying about how you handled the situation.  You may go over, again and again, how you might have behaved differently or said different things.

 As well as the mental anxiety, you can get physical symptoms.

• a very dry mouth
• sweating
• heart pounding
• palpitations (the feeling that  your heart is beating irregularly)
• wanting to rush to the loo
  
• feelings of numbness or pins and needles in the fingers and toes (this happens because you breathe too fast).

Hypnosis is very effective in helping you to behave confidently in these situations, helping you to think in a more realistic and helpful way, control those unpleasant symptoms, and use those new skills to help you in other anxiety-provoking situations.

 

 ]]>Tue, 01 May 2012 08:00:00 +0000http://www.carolinebrowntherapy.com/1/post/2012/05/first-post.htmlWorry is a kind of thinking about future events that tends to be repetitive and unproductive, leading to nothing more than more worry. It is one of the symptoms of stress.

If you find that you are worrying, there are some things you can do that help.

Write a list of your worries, and then leave them overnight. In the morning, you may have a clearer idea of whether these thoughts are useful or not. You can sort them into productive worries, which can lead you to take helpful action, and unproductive worries, where there is no action that you can take to resolve the problem. Just separating worries into these 2 groups can be helpful. Where you can take no action, the key is to accept the situation.

If you worry a lot and it is getting in the way of your normal life, then set aside a time when you can worry, and only worry at that time. Use a paper and pen and make a note of your worries, and sort them.

These suggestions are very simple, but they have been shown to work.
]]>Mon, 12 Mar 2012 09:05:23 +0000http://www.carolinebrowntherapy.com/1/post/2012/03/blushing1.htmlMost of us blush. But those of us who feel sensitive about it, think that they blush more than the rest of us. Research by Mulkens demonstrates that it is our concern about blushing that makes us feel we blush more. We tend to blush when we feel under scrutiny, when unwanted attention is focused on us, when we feel we have done something foolish and even worse, when someone mentions that they can see we are blushing! It can damage our self-esteem if we feel people are judging us harshly.

There are some positive aspects to blushing. It demonstrates that we have some sense of shame and are not excessively aggressive. It shows that we want to meet the social norms which keep us all working together without too much stress and tension.

But if blushing is making you feel awkward, making you avoid going to parties or applying for jobs, then it can damage your self-confidence. What can you do to get rid of it?

It is something which is treated fairly rapidly with cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy. In just two or three sessions, you will find that you blush less often and are no longer so worried about it.

For a bit of DIY, try just saying out loud to yourself or to a colleague - Here I am blushing again! One of the things that maintains it is our wish to keep it secret. Coming out will take the sting away! And if that is not enough, come and see me!
]]>Wed, 22 Feb 2012 08:00:00 +0000http://www.carolinebrowntherapy.com/1/post/2012/02/post-title-click-and-type-to-edit.htmlResearch by T. D. Borkovec and colleagues of Penn State University  took a look at how worry manifests itself. The founds that worries have greater feelings of tension, anxiety and apprehension, and that their focus is on the future, rather than the past or present. Of course, the future is unknowable, and worriers have a tendency to try to think about the future as a way of making it more predictable. Worries think up lots of What if.... scenarios to try to work out what might happen. The subjects of this research rated motivation, preparation for the worst, and avoidance and prevention of negative outcomes as the most typical reasons for their worry.

In this research, people who considered themselves to be worriers, felt their worries to be uncontrollable once worrying was initiated. This and other research shows that worrying consists of intrusive thoughts which pop up uninvited, rather than intrusive images (which happens with anxiety.)

The researchers assessed the ability of non-worriers and worriers to concentrate on a monotonous task after they had been asked to do some worrying for set periods.

For both worriers and non-worriers, 15 min of worry resulted in an increase in the amount of negative intrusive thoughts. Thus, even non-worriers experienced these unpleasant intrusive thoughts when they were asked to do some worrying. The process of worrying causes these unpleasant thoughts, and thus for worriers, keeps the cycle turning. Worrying makes the intrusive thoughts worse.

Worriers seem generally more pessimistic. This research shows that before the worry period, worriers reported significantly higher anxiety. depression and hostility, a lower frequency of focused attention and a greater frequency of negative thought intrusions than did non-worriers.

So worrying gets in the way of feeling good. Cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy will help you get out of the habit.
]]>Tue, 21 Feb 2012 08:09:53 +0000http://www.carolinebrowntherapy.com/1/post/2012/02/what-is-self-confidence.html We feel self-confidence when we believe that we can do the things that we need or want to do. When we believe that we can  learn new skills and achieve our goals, working hard in a wide range of areas - home, work and personal life, then this builds our self-confidence in a real and long-lasting way. This belief allows us to take on difficult challenges and persist, even in the face of frustration. So in many ways, self-confidence is built by doing stuff, by building competence. It is linked to self-esteem. Poor self-esteem, where you judge yourself harshly, can be modified in a more helpful way with cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy. The only person you have to be good enough for, but sometimes we lose this perspective.

If you want to build your self-confidence, then taking on something challenging is a good way to do it. On the way, you might find that you notice your self-talk is unkind and critical. With cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy, this self-talk can be modified to be more helpful and realistic. Setting goals and working persistently to achieve them, building your self-reliance and self-discipline on the way, build a deep and sustainable self-confidence. Instead of giving up, its about finding ways to persist. And as you build your self-confidence, your self-esteem will be given a boost too.

Take a look at the people who you consider to be confident. What do you see?  Would you say that they give up in the face of difficulties? Do they have a wide range of interests and skills? How do they spend their free time?

If you feel that your confidence or self-esteem need a boost, then cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy can help.
]]>Thu, 02 Feb 2012 00:26:35 +0000http://www.carolinebrowntherapy.com/1/post/2012/02/sleep-problems.html_A poor night`s sleep makes us miserable. And a refreshing sleep is a delight. If our sleep patterns get disordered it is easy to see how it can affect our general wellbeing, our relationships and our work.

Cognitive behavioural therapy, supported by hypnosis, works well for getting sleep patterns back to normal. There is lots of research evidence to support this. The most common problems are failure to drop off to sleep or waking early and failing to get back to sleep. This can be caused by worrying, so cognitive approaches are very effective. It can be caused by coffee or other stimulants, so a behavioural approach is useful.

Sometimes big changes in our lives can get us into new patterns which spoil our sleeping patterns. For example, you might have a lovely new husband, but he might snore, so that you can`t sleep. You might help him by some of the new equipment available, and you can help yourself by changing the way you think about the snoring. (Rather than What a dreadful noise, you can be reassured that he is still alive!)

And of course it can be all of these things, so getting a clear idea of the cause of a change in sleep pattern is essential.

For some people the boundaries between rapid eye movement sleep and non-rapid eye movement sleep get confused. This confused boundary can cause sleepwalking and sleeptalking. Late evening coffee or alcohol can cause this, but some people are predisposed to it. Hypnosis is very helpful for this.

There are a number of rare sleep problems. Most of us experience a sort of paralysis when asleep, so that our bodies feel heavy and it can take a while after we have woken up for our bodies to wake. Where this paralysis does not occur, acting out dreams can sometimes happen. This is a medical condition and doctor`s advice should be sought.

]]>Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:13:45 +0000http://www.carolinebrowntherapy.com/1/post/2012/01/insomnia.htmlThe cycle of worrying is clearly demonstrated with insomnia. If sleep has been difficult, then we can lie in bed and worry that we won't sleep, so we don`t. And the cycle can continue for weeks, even years. Chronic sleep problems can lead to anxiety and depression, so it is well worth getting treatment.

A recent report in The Lancet records that cognitive behavioural therapy works better than drugs for a long-term result. I use CBT with hypnosis, as this speeds the process along. Sadly, although CBT has been shown to be effective, drugs are cheaper. As the Lancet notes, as well as face-to-face therapy, online therapy is very effective. My DIY page gives a number of  links to free-of-charge excellent websites. I work by phone and email as well as face-to-face. For some people this works best. Guided CBT with hypnosis a pleasant experience. You will be feeling significantly better after just a few sessions. And you will know if it suits you after just one.

]]>Sat, 21 Jan 2012 02:19:49 +0000http://www.carolinebrowntherapy.com/1/post/2012/01/worrying-all-the-time.htmlWe worry about all sorts of things. In this area, we tend to be very creative. We worry about blushing or the shape of our noses. We fear that we will make a fool of ourselves in front of our friends or colleagues if we are asked to speak. We get anxious about going to the loo, or not finding a loo. And all of these worries, and more besides, interfere with our lives, and make us unhappy. Even worse, we get into the habit of worrying, so that all these unpleasant thoughts are the first that pop into our minds and overwhelm the good experiences. Worrying like this can damage our self-esteem and self-confidence, making us unwilling to take on new challenges and this takes a lot of the fun out of our lives.

In all of these cases and many more, cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy works fast and effectively and therefore offers terrific value for money. Why not give it a try. You have nothing to lose but your worries!
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