This shouldn't happen to me!

Sometimes we feel really frustrated that things are just not going our way. Things ought to be better, why should you have to stand this kind of thing?

These are examples of low frustration tolerance, an idea developed by Albert Ellis, to help explain a range of self-defeating behaviours. It is defined as going for the quick hit, instant gratification, even when it causes long-term problems.

So you might rage at the driver in front of you, feeling a bit of momentary pleasure by letting off steam but building up your blood pressure. Or you might shop hard on the credit card, refusing to think about the misery you will feel when it comes to paying it back. Going for the moment. Or expecting to be able to do things well right away, like playing the guitar or giving presentations, refusing to put in the effort. Or moaning and groaning when the train is held up. This shouldn't happen to you, you shouldn't have to put up with this.

Low frustration tolerance can lead to lots of interpersonal difficulties. You might shoot your mouth off or lash out and hit someone. Just because you respond to your immediate feelings without any self-control or consideration of the consequences.

The wonderful news is that you can change this kind of response, so that you feel less stress and anger and maintain valuable relationships, just by addressing your thought patterns.

When you think "I shouldn't have to put up with this?" challenge yourself. Why shouldn't you? Why should other people put up with it and not you? Why should you get your own way? Is the world really set up in order to make your life easy? Can you only be happy if you always get your way?

Cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy helps you get to grips with this. Helping you to take a more rational and laid-back approach. Just think of it - less stress, more friends. Great.

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