What will make me feel better?

Knowing that there are things you can do today which can change the way you feel is a great confidence booster. For example, start to make a note of all the little things that go well every day. Often, we tend to disregard them and focus just on the bad stuff. And then we start to fantasise about all the terrible things that might happen. 'What if...' 'and then...' 'and...' - catastrophes in the making.

If you are a chronic worrier, then you might find that all your mistakes and failures come easily to mind. And it can be come a habit to remind yourself of how dreadful things have happened, and there is always the chance that something similarly awful can happen again. All these bad memories or scary futures are so easy to think of, but the good things just seem to slip by unnoticed. So we get a very unbalanced view of how our life is unfolding. And we can nag away at ourselves for these apparent failures, like an unkind sibling, always pointing them out. Criticising ourselves before someone else does. Not getting too big for our boots by reminding ourselves of all the things that we do unsatisfactorily. This damages our self-confidence, which is a fragile thing for most of us.

Instead of ignoring the good things that happen to you and the enjoyable things that you do, take active note of them - even the smallest positive thing. If someone talks to you at the bus stop, give yourself a point. If you get a bit of work finished, another point. A nice piece of ironing, award yourself some praise. When you find yourself having an unhelpful thought, tell it to go away, and reward yourself for taking that action.

Unkind and critical self-talk is destructive. It ruins our self-confidence and achieves nothing. Hypnosis can help you get out of the habit.

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