Blog: Embarrassment

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Holding back on relationships while waiting for the mythical soulmate

The myth of the soulmate encourages us to follow our feelings, but they are constantly changing. Not a stable basis for important decisions. read more

Added on 28.05.2014

Worrying after the event

Some worriers do their worry work before something happens and others do the stewing afterwards.

This takes the form of bemoaning how silly your behaviour must have been, how dreadful your clothes were as well as going over in detail what everyone said to you, in your presence or about you. These internal analyses can go on for hours and hours. Days even.

There is nothing useful to be gained from this. Despite the effort involved in the analysis, no useful conclusions can be drawn from this kind of thinking. It won't give any insights into how to do things better in the future or how to stop worrying. It just makes you worry more, feel more anxious and closes down your ability to take helpful action.

So as soon as you notice the ruminations coming on, the 'If only's starting, the 'I wonder what he meant by's coming on, then STOP!

Do something to distract yourself. Go for a walk, phone a friend, watch a film, do some work. This kind of thinking is of no value to you whatsoever. A complete waste of your time.

Added on 27.02.2013

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